Male Socialization

Why the Fathers of Tomorrow Need Our Attention Today


A Roundtable Meeting on Male Socialization

• Engage faculty/staff from higher education and research institutions in examining issues related to Minnesota ’s diverse communities of fathers and families;
• Explore the complexities of male socialization in preparing boys to become fathers and family men;
• Review the current research and theory around child development and the influence of male socialization on families and fathers;
• Review “signature practices” that are being used around the nation for promoting positive male socialization in schools and social service agencies; 
• Develop initial action steps for participants to promote positive male socialization in their daily work;
• Identify and promote the father-friendly attitudes and values required to train a new generation of family service professionals.

Dr. Harry Brod: Addressed the intersection of male socialization and fathering

• We must learn to “picture positive fathering”. What do we expect fathering to look like?
• Fathering is historically different from mothering. Biological differences may be less obvious.
• Good fathers are wanted: 1) to pass on good masculinity, and 2) to avoid continuing bad masculinity.
• Crying is a way to heal the hurt. Stopping crying doesn’t stop the hurt; it stops the healing. So, men who don’t cry can’t begin healing.
• Parents need to appreciate the intelligence of their children. Do not only correct children, but recognize their growth and knowledge.
• The goal of good parenting is to identify goals of self monitoring.
• Traditional male socialization has tolerated violence. Therefore, violence may be considered over-conformance to an unhealthy societal standard of masculinity (not deviance or non-conformance). Therefore, one way to prevent violence is to stop unhealthy socialization of boys.

Dr. Glen Palm: Addressed male socialization in the early years

• Dads learn with their kids during the early years of parenting (two generations of learners can learn together).
• Even during early childhood years, parents should talk to their kids about gendered messages they see on TV or in the media.
• Early childhood years are a prime time for children to learn gender identity and emotional expression. Don’t miss these opportunities for positive socialization.
• Oftentimes, our 21 st Century culture can be seen socializing boys for a 19 th Century lifestyle (we no longer live in a single-wage earner society of nuclear families). Male socialization must adapt to the realities of the 21 st Century.
• When teaching men about emotional expression, many adult men respond better to the term “EQ” (emotional intelligence) rather than “emotions”. EQ sounds more masculine for men who have been socialized to shun emotional expression.
• Dads cannot teach EQ to their children without first looking inward at themselves.
• Book clubs for dads and kids are a good way to teach literacy, connections, and content.

Lowell Johnson: Addressed male socialization in elementary school

• Children in elementary school need adult male role models who can show positive masculinity.
• It is hard for male teachers in elementary schools because they may feel isolated in the profession and because society does not consider elementary education to be a “masculine” profession.
• We need a public service announcement to help promote the image that real men raise children. Real men teach children.
• Schools and communities need to offer more opportunities for dads and kids to interact in a structured environment.

Ramon Serrano: Addressed male socialization in adolescence

• Schools have traditionally been used as a way to promote a culture: “colonizing sites”.
• Children can help to educate parents to break their taboos about showing affection.
• Often, younger generations are the ones to help teach healthy masculinity to older generations. For example, younger generations often perceive a clearer distinction between “discipline” and “punishment”.
• Literature is a good way to promote education across generations. Book talks can help to break taboos.
• An effective intergenerational activity: Bring a group of students to a nursing home to engage in intergenerational storytelling. Afterwards, students can re-write the stories in the form of poems, rap songs, etc.
• It is important for teachers to talk with students; don’t talk to students.
• Explore the writings of Henry Giroux who talks about “border crossers” and male / female roles.

Jan Hayne: Addressed male socialization in middle school / high school

• Dads Make a Difference (DMAD) is an effective tool for teaching middle school and high school students about the responsibilities and roles of fatherhood.
• DMAD uses an effective strategy of youth mentors whereby older students teach younger students lessons about parenting and prevention.
• DMAD has been used effectively in urban, suburban and rural schools. Student-mentors are able to cater their message and refine it for younger students who view them as role models.

 Dr. Gar Kellom: Addressed male socialization in college

• Colleges need to teach gender awareness (especially men’s or women’s colleges).
• Men’s Studies is not offered on most college campuses.
• At St. John’s University , the male students find that they are able to “drop the mask” in the evening after women leave the campus.
• Men’s spirituality groups are a growing phenomenon that help college students grow in their spiritual expression and self confidence.
• We need to talk more about gender in new and open ways.
• Men look for more pedagogy of open dialogue and less pedagogy of instruction.
• Colleges must help men to identify and grow into healthy relationships.
• It truly does take a village to raise a healthy man.